the sinner seek devotion.

Hillsong – Just Let Me Say

Just let me say how much I love You
Let me speak of Your mercy and grace
Just let me live in a shadow of Your beauty
Let me see You face to face

And the earth will shake as Your Word goes forth
And the heavens will tremble and fall
But let me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend

Just let me hear Your finest whispers
As You gently call my name
And let me see Your power and Your glory
Let me feel Your spirit’s flame

Let me find You in the desert
Till this sand is holy ground
And I am found completely surrendered
To You my Lord and Friend

So let me say how much I love You
With all my heart I long for You
For I am caught in this passion of knowing
This endless love I’ve found in You

And the depth of grace, the forgiveness found
To be called a child of God
Just makes me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend

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after 2 full days of stuff, I’m here to announce that the dreaded prelims are over! (and A’s are that much closer too)

this exam period was a different one. I learned to trust God at a different level than before. I still remember I’d study till I have crazy pimple outbreaks, mug for the entire day without talking to anyone and get so worked up when I discuss answers with my classmates after the test itself. this time, I learned to trust God as best as I could, knowing that every effort I put in, as long as I give in my best, while not compromising on serving His Kingdom, God is satisfied with me.

man, it is hard trying to plan for shepherdings, spend quality quiet time especially when my mind’s in a whirl after studying till late, going for meetings till the sun sets. it’s difficult even to do our best for God in other areas than studies sometimes. but we shouldn’t compromise at all, after all, Jesus didn’t compromise either, He gave His all, His everything for me.

and I was so reminded by the sacrifice he made while I was preparing holy comm. so I decided to kope an idea from a church I visited with my mum last time. it was about making a cross with 2 nails. I mean, so often we forget that Jesus was pierced, He was nailed by our sins. so I really prayed that it’d make an impact on people after that day well it wasn’t easy especially I picked up my paintbrush for the first time in 4 years to imitate the blood on the wrapping. I risked flicking the paint all over my bedroom floor lol. but thank God!

moreover, I’ve set out a fast this time, with clear objectives! gosh, it’s so important to have clear objectives. if we didn’t write them down clearly, each time we think about our objective and if we subtlely change the words in our objective, the entire idea can change. ok, that wasn’t very coherent ._.  but well, I tried my very best to stick to it. at first it was easy to keep praying each night, but recently it’s been getting much harder to pray desperately because I’m so drained after the entire day. and I had a ‘brilliant’ idea, I take a nap at 7pm so I would be able to be alert at night haha. (at least it works!)

then there was CLMs yesterdays. it was an intensive day, but nonetheless very enriching and fruitful. so much to learn and praise God for. you know I really didn’t feel the impact of the small testimony I shared. I mean it did impact me for a while, but I didn’t know God really worked through it big time until I saw the responses of the team. sometimes, I think I underestimate God’s glory and grace. but now when I come to think of it, yeah indeed, that moment was a divine moment.

oh and chialing and I totally went berserk trying to prepare for worship! haha, it’s the first time we’re leading together in jc clm, so we were obviously not very comfortable. especially when we had decided to play a 6/8 song (which we have never done so, in fact it’s the first such song I’ve ever played in my life, ’cause I have poor sense of rhythm ._.), and we played with a capo (which I have never dared to try in cg worship) plus we transited to a song in G without capo (we went ballistic over the issue of transition haha) followed by upkeying!

it was nearly suicidal to combine so many techniques we’ve never even practise before! (and we were at a loss of what to do) so we decided to… pray lah. we’ve totally no idea, and no control of the situation. but we just gave God our best, worshipped with all our spirits. and I really met God while playing the guitar. it was awesome! there were areas I needed to improve, so thanks to a particular sister for helping me gotta improve to help facilitate the flow of God’s presence in worship better.

wow and guess what! there was a unit guitar class today. and shockingly, I was one of the teacher/trainer/blah haha. I could never have imagined myself to teach (after all, I knew very little ._.) and the fact that I had no previous music track records other than the recorder (which I didn’t excel in either) and one thing I hold very closely is that: regardless of whether we are talented or not, as long as we’ve a desire to serve God with whatever little we have (5 loaves and 2 fishes!), God can use those who are willing. yeah! and it takes discipline to practise everyday even though we suck (in fact, I suck badly so I make myself practise everyday) so jiayou to those who wanna learn!

it’s been quite a week. and there’s no other better way to celebrate God than the song, how could I keep from singing. it never really caught my attention until I had to play for clm. then the lyrics made so much sense to me, and now when I think of it, those are the words I’d wanna say to God.

How Could I Keep From Singing
There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring
And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives
And I will walk with You
Knowing You’ll see me through
And sing the songs You give

I can sing in the troubled times, sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step and fall down again
I can sing ’cause You pick me up, sing ’cause You’re there
I can sing ’cause You hear me, Lord, when I call to You in prayer
I can sing with my last breath, sing for I know
That I’ll sing with the angels and the saints around the throne

help me to give my best to You o God. for the things I hold on to, You are my hope.

till then, I’ll keep hanging onto You.

Hillsong – Desperate People
You cross the great divide, You took our place
You offered up Your life, for we have failed
The veil was torn and love remained
You are holy Lord

Distraction costs us, how we seek Your face
We offer up our lives to bring You praise
A love the walls cannot contain
You are holy Lord

We’re rising up in spirit and in truth
A living sacrifice we worship You
People undivided Lord hear us sing
We are Yours and You are our King

This is our love
Hearts joined as one
Desperate for all You are
Lord break down these walls
And see how we love
Desperate for all You are
We chase Your heart

We didn’t come to leave here entertained
Or worship under any other name
We’re crying out for You alone
You are holy Lord

Show us the way to Your heart

We found our voice
We found our cause
We’re on our knees, the carpet’s worn
We join our hearts
With distant shores sing to You Lord

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