the sinner seek devotion.

“God can do tremendous things through people who don’t care who gets the credit.”

- Rick Warren

Beyond the lifting of our hands, are we constantly lifting up our lives to Him?

God, help me to examine my own life before I do to others. Strip my pride away, tear down my achievements, diminish my abilities and all it takes to humble me. If my heart bears motives that displeases You, convict me and sit me down for as long as it takes.

It’s really difficult when there are things I cannot explain, not that I don’t wish to, but it’s probably unwise to there and then. God, I don’t know how, but if I must deny my right to be right, and if this is Your best plans, then I will and I must obey.

If someone were to come up to me one day and ask me: do you think you’ve grown over the past few months? And if my answer is no, I musn’t merely stop at the embarrassing shake of the head. The most important response is not merely flinching at the question, it musn’t stop there. If my answers is no, then am I going to do something about it?

If I feel stressed and distant from God, am I doing something about that? If I feel weak and hopeless, am I doing something about it? Then the next question beckons, how far am I willing to go to get myself out of this rut? Sometimes our emotions, our mind and our hearts do not flow in tandem, whereby our emotions run against the truths. There are times we let our hearts lead us, often into making rash decisions. (that’s me)

God, I pray that You’d discipline me. Discipline my heart, mind and emotions, so that even in times when I don’t ‘feel’, at least I know the truth. And God I pray I won’t just stop there, I’d know and I’d actively do something about it. Though I may not ‘feel’ like it, if I have to, then I must because Your Kingdom is priority.

Move me, when I most feel like stopping.

It suddenly dawned upon me that it’s less than a week to the A’ levels. It seemed that just a while ago, it was still a month or two from the dreaded papers. While taking a hot bath (too bad, I don’t have a hot bod to go with it lol), I began to ponder about the frequently quoted phrase:

“Look inside and you’ll be depressed, look around you and you’ll be stressed, but look upwards to God and you’ll be at rest.”

(for those feeling guilty of being online: you can always study later )

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viva la victoria

It’s time to say our goodbyes. It took a lot longer for the realisation that I am on the final stretch of my 18 years of formal classroom education to sink in. I will always remember the unbearable long bus journeys, the walk to school and all the memories I’ve left and gathered in vj.

I am glad the video presentations captured the essence of the ’07 batch of vj students well, or at least it did so for me. Scenes of registration on the first day of school, getting to know my orientation group mates, and sea regatta are still fresh. As cliché as this may sound, it really felt like I had entered vjc yesterday.

I will definitely miss college life. Some of my friends are glad they are finally moving on from college, whereas others are already having a sense of nostalgia. As for me, I am having mixed feelings. Surely on one hand, I’m glad I’ll finally be done with the A’s in a month’s time or so. Yet, one question that remains afloat in my mind is,

“What have I left behind?”

If I’m going to graduate out of college without fulfilling God’s purpose, or any other purpose for that matter, I think I’d leave school with regret. A sense of regret that I’ve not given my utmost to achieve what I have set out to do.

Have I left behind a legacy that will continue to impact the many generations of young people who will step into the school compound in the years to come? Have I entered and graduated from college without making a difference in the school? I’m not necessarily talking about winning the school for God, but on a broader perspective even for the average Joe, what have I fulfilled during the course of my education in college?

It’s a fact that many will walk out of the school compound coming February or so with the grades they have desired and worked hard to achieve. Perhaps, fulfilment to some is achieving excellent grades, having a piece of paper that records the As one has strived for for 2 arduous years. Or perhaps fulfilment to others means achieving sporting glory, steamrolling opponents along the journey to win the championship.

Yet, the question remains, is this all for self-fulfilment? If the words ‘I’ and ‘me’ are removed from the equations, when self-benefits are taken away from the activities, would you still be doing what you are doing? Take for example, if the public recognition or the black and white words printed on my Top 3 Achievements are removed, would I still be serving the needy? Are the things I do merely means to an end to achieving personal success?

As Martin Luther King, Jr puts it aptly, “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?”

In a short excerpt from a book that I’m reading, Ravi Zacharias writes:

Some time ago, I attended a Bible study session with some sports professionals. The speaker challenged the players to leave a legacy they could be proud of. He began by asking them how many knew the name of their great-grandfather. A handful of hands went up. Then he asked how many of them knew where their great-grandfathers were buried. Most of the hands stayed down. With each more specific question, fewer hands went up. He then made his point: “Each one of us is just three to four generations away from extinction.” Silence gripped the room. How sobering to think that, just a few generations down the family tree, no one would even know I had ever existed!

“But then one said, “Really, I don’t care whether or not my great-great-grandson or great-granddaughter knows that I played ball professionally. It really doesn’t matter that much. I just want them to know the God I served and loved.”

Perhaps someone may remember my academic achievements one day, but chances are that it’s not likely. Perhaps someone may remember my sporting contributions one day, but the probability of that happening isn’t high either. After all, why would someone bother to since it doesn’t concern them anyway?

But when we make an impact on someone’s life, he or she will carry that imprint for life. Someone’s course of life has been changed by you, perhaps from a road to destruction to one of eternal life and purpose. Why pursue success when I don’t have anyone to share the sweetness of my success with?

What do you want to be remembered for? What is your purpose for the things you do?

Life’s a lot different when God-fulfilment takes central position in the decisions I make in life, particularly when God’s commands means resisting to conform to the norms of our society and instead going in the opposite direction. It’s difficult to maintain integrity when peer pressure is overwhelming. It’s difficult to show care and concern beyond our duties when we ourselves need others to care and be concerned for us. It’s difficult to give up, serve, and relegate one self to serve people’s needs. But Christ has shown the way to a God-fulfilling life, and that’s down.

Time’s running out but I’ve not lost sight of CG08. This is my calling; this is my purpose for the things I do. With the farewell assembly marking the end of official school days, time’s really running out for us. We must get more desperate even as A’ levels come into sight now. Decisions must be made, commitments must be followed through. I want to keep running this race with You, and I will not let anything hold me back.

You’re my reason why I stayed in hockey despite struggling with asthma, You’re my reason why I commit my time and life to my freshmen and juniors, You’re my reason why I give my best in studies. You’re my reason I can start anew.

Because, You matter more than anything else to me.